White Lady Therapy isn’t really therapy. It is executive coaching for white women who want to kick ass in their Work, and stay mindful of how particular aspects of our social identity (i.e. being a white lady) may get in the way of this. Take it from me, a fellow white lady, we can do a lot of harm even with the best of intentions.
Let’s stop doing that.
Listen, I get it.
Maybe you have gone to your Black and Brown friends and colleagues and realized that it wasn’t their job to help you do better. Maybe you’ve read the books, or maybe you’ve bought the books and never read them. Because one thing you know for sure is that you’re a white lady. And sometimes you wish you weren’t. But what can you actually do? Let's talk about that. Learning how to be in a better relationship with yourself isn’t going to come from a blog post, it’s going to come from inside you.
I’m quite certain that a part of this work begins with listening and understanding how the white lady parts of you operate, sometimes without consciousness or even your own consent. By bringing a greater awareness to the way your own conditioning plays out in real life, by making space to wrestle with your level of comfort or discomfort with how you relate to yourself and your power, either wielding it or yielding it, you can unlock your ability to show up differently, and to truly be yourself. Even if that still means being a white lady.
Who is a white lady?
A white lady is someone who identifies as a woman, has ancestral ties to Europe and at some point, her ancestors exchanged (read-sacrificed) their culture for the privilege of identifying as white, thereby gaining membership to the dominant culture.
How might we work together?
Initially, we will connect 1-on-1 to understand what you are experiencing today as a white woman, and develop a tailored strategy for working together. This work may include regular sessions, or timely support as issues arise. We will make the space to think and feel through the ways that you are showing up in your relationship to and with others at work, your relationship to power, focusing particularly on the times where you experience yourself acting from that white lady place. The ultimate goal of this work is to develop healthy practices to raise your awareness, increase your ability to sit with discomfort, and find ways to shift your impact from merely reducing harm to fully stepping into your role as a solution maker. You don’t have to do it alone.
That’s what she said…
“White Lady Therapy masterfully creates space for one to speak freely and openly without fear of judgment. In our work together, she has been able to hear me, distill my tortuous thought process to its essence, and then reflect it back in a way that allows me to make decisions from a place of centered confidence rather than fear. Through this work, I am beginning to learn that when I let go of fear of making white lady mistakes (inevitable) my work product is better and I do it with more joy.”
— Yoga Mom, Director of Learning
“White Lady Therapy helps me in several ways. When I have a struggle at work that seems nonracial, we explore the ways race may be playing a role. Without shame or blame, WLT has helped me see the complex layers operating in my interactions and offered ideas about how to have more integrity. This has led to better outcomes! WLT has also helped me vision ways to advance my career, helping me break down limiting beliefs that have been holding me back. Thank you White Lady Therapy!”
— Homesteader, Bookkeeper
“Through my sessions she is able to “call me in” with her unique flavor of authenticity, clarity, love, compassion and humor – in a way that I’m able to hear, accept and act. She has helped me to acknowledge and use my power and influence to further equity. White Lady Therapy has been a fulfilling journey of self-reflection, cultural navigation, courage-gathering, risk-taking and celebration.”
—Road Tripper, Project Manager
About me:
I’m a white lady, but that is not all I am. I am also a friend, partner, sister, daughter and mom. I carry a serious midwest sensibility born into a family of practical working class parents, combined with an adopted woo-woo perspective that I have gained living in Oakland for more than 20 years. My mom worked hard to raise me not to be an ignorant white person, and it is because of her, that I understand the profound levels of work we white people have to do to come correct in this world. Professionally, I am a strategic advisor, consultant and certified executive coach and have built this practice from decades of experience working in executive positions in the nonprofit sector focusing on understanding, while seeking to disrupt and dismantle oppressive systems.